What in Hades do we do now?
by Kitty Kadaveral
Summary: This is a cross-over of the Doug universe and the Hercules one. Simply put, Skeeter, Roger and Judy must embark on a dangerous adventure lead by Naya, Hades body guard, to coax The Lord of the Underworld to bring Doug back to life. Part one of ???


This was just something goofy a friend and I role played long ago. We were sort of mixing the Hercules universe with the Doug universe and it always produced hilarious results. Anyway, the story behind this is that Roger and Judy and Naya,,Hades' bodyguard, wanted to pull a prank on Doug. They got hold of his journal and read it. Judy was mocking Doug on his little hormone flares and mostly about his seemingly sudden crush on Naya. Naya got wind of that and literally tore Doug up...tearing his arm off that he writes with and eventually killing him. Judy was mortified and Roger didn't think that Doug would have had that happen. He just assumed Naya would pound the crap out of him. Soooo...Skeeter walked into the scene and pretty much begged Naya to help get Doug back to the living world. Naya likes Skeeter a lot so he's the only reason she agreed. They hot wired a car and she "drove" it to the Herc-verse which was funny because she can't drive let alone knows what a car is! They crashed and had to walk to the Underworld now which was bad because it's so far and the trip is full of many dangers. Sadly, she and I stopped the role play for some reason or another. I thought I would encourage her to continue by making this story. I have yet to complete it, but in the mean time it's still an interesting bit of work. Hope you enjoy it and maybe Ill refind my Muse and get an ending to this tale. For those of you that are stuck in the Doug stuff being forever in a "G" rating I suggest you am-scray now. This has violence and naughty language. For the "Doug Bleeding Hearts out there ((Thanks to LadyBird Gribble for that fab catch phrase)) I suggest you not to read this at all because I'm not in the mood to hear you banter about how terrible I am that I killed off Doug. Remember, I'm a Roger Klotz worshipper, not a Doug worshipper. I also have a sci-fi story in the works that shall be VERY dark and dismal so the same warning shall apply to that. You know what you're in for so either stop now or deal with it. Haha..enjoy dear ones.  
  
::Naya stomped ahead through the dense trees, her sword clearing a path ahead for herself and her friends Roger, Skeeter, and Judy. She motioned for them to follow her and she continued on her way ever mindful of the dead body of Doug she had her tail coiled around. She couldn't believe she was doing any of this and Roger was going to owe her big time for getting the dorky Doug his life back.  
  
Roger went after doing a cruel prank to Doug, but the outcome did nothing but tick off Naya royally. So much so that she ripped his arm off and it later caused the little jerk to die. It didn't bother her, but it obviously did something terrible to Judy even though she was involved in it and wanted things to change.  
  
Oh, I thought you were just going to scare him, was the comment she had made. Yeah, right. Skeeter, on the other hand, was probably the only reason she was making this trek to the Underworld to talk to Hades to get Doug his life back. Skeeter is Doug's one and only true human friend and it was the pain she saw in his eyes and the soft pleading he gave to her that helped change her mind.  
  
Roger, on the other hand, helped sweeten the deal by offering her money, but then again, that was his only way to show compassion. If it hadn't been for those two factors, Doug was buzzard bait as far as she was concerned.  
  
Behind her, Judy and Roger were arguing about something, but she couldn't quite hear what they were saying for Skeeter was yammering at her side about how great it is to see unicorns and satyrs amongst other things frolicking in the surrounding areas.  
  
Having hearing enough to drive her mad, Naya stopped and suddenly turned, anger and aggravation blazing in her green eyes. "Will you guys just shut up! My gods you'd talk the ears off a statue! Just shut up already!"  
  
The threesome stopped and looked at her, their mouths dropped open in her sudden fury and tone. Skeeter cowered slightly from the outburst, but Roger and Judy stood their ground glaring at her. Roger was someone Naya was used to and she knew he was more talk then anything and all she had to do was sneeze and he'd start shaking right now.  
  
Judy on the other hand was a total bitch in Naya's eyes and she only tolerated Judy because she at least showed an interest in weapons and warrior things, but the girl was a bit flaky for she still thought that Naya was just an actress playing some kind of role. Naya glared at the prima donna for the longest time, but it was Roger that started getting nervous, not Judy. Naya just rolled her eyes and turned back around, "Come on, we don't have time to play out here. It's almost night fall and we need to make a camp before the lovely beasties of this world come out to play."  
  
Skeeter frowned a bit, "What kind of beasties?"  
  
Naya shrugged, "Oh, your usual mix of wolves, weasels, elves, fairies with menstrual cramps that drive the rest of us nuts, you know, stuff like that." Skeeter shook his head at that and felt his cheeks redden with a blush over the last item on Naya's list, but he didn't question her or make any comment.  
  
Naya continued forward leaving Skeeter behind blushing like an idiot. She didn't have time for this and the more their quest went on the more she felt her mood souring. If she had cared for Doug in the smallest of ways it wouldn't have been so bad, but the guy was such a loser in her eyes that she didn't even think it was worth bringing him back into the living world.  
  
Finding a small clearing after long last, Naya dropped the body of Doug to the ground and gestured the area with a sweeping motion of her arms, "Well, guys, this is home for the night. I suggest you start finding some branches to make a fire with because the creatures of the night don't exactly like showing themselves so the brighter the better."  
  
Judy snorted and crossed her arms in front of her chest, "And just what makes you think we're going to be safe here? If there are any monsters about that are hungry don't you think they'll attack regardless of the petty guards we post?"  
  
Naya gritted her teeth and did her best to contain the killing mode she felt her body slipping into. "Because I LIVE here!," she snapped, fury mounting inside of her. "I know what these creeps feed on and what scares them!"  
  
Roger saw the danger signs and grabbed Judy by the arm and yanked her aside. "She forgot, girly, forgive her," he smiled nervously to Naya and pulled Judy with him to look for branches like requested.  
  
When at a safe distance Judy jerked her arm from him and glared at him. "Since when do you side with someone? You're always telling people off." She then blinked and suddenly laughed. "Wait, wait, I get it all now. This is just some sick dream isn't it? I mean, you are super nice and passive and some girl with a tail and claws just ripped the arm off of my little brother." Judy laughed more and leaned against a tree. "Nice one, Rog, but if you're going to invade my dreams I wish you'd do something a little more creative then warrior women that eat dorky brothers and bring her friends to the land of Nodd."  
  
Roger blinked and stepped towards her slowly. "Judy, none of this is a dream. Doug is dead and we're in Naya's world. This is the land of all those myths you read about. You know, where Zeus rules and Hermes flies free." He shook his head. "How else do you explain any of this?"  
  
Judy smirked then lunged forward pinching Roger's long nose hard between the knuckles of her index and middle fingers. Roger shrieked and tried to pull away, but her grip was too tight. "Listen, Klotz, I am not buying it! This is all a dream! It's all too ludicrous to be real. I'm going to wake up at any minute and have a good laugh over all of this and Dougie is going to be in his room writing in that lame little journal of his with Porkchop watching him like always."  
  
Roger winced from the pain she was causing on his nose and slapped Judy hard in the shoulder, "Knock it off you loon, that hurts!" he cried.  
  
She suddenly let him go and staggered backwards from the hit. If this were a dream she never would have felt the stinging pain now going through her arm. The reality finally hit her and she felt her knees becoming weak. "Th-this is real then isn't it?" she whispered, slowly sinking to the ground. "My brother really is mangled and dead isn't he?" Roger nodded and knelt at her side, draping his arm around her trembling shoulders. "It's ok. I'm sorry this all happened. It's all my fault."  
  
She shook her head and tried to hide the sobs and tears. Roger held her closer, his mind feeling severe guilt about a prank for the first time. It felt awful and he prayed he'd never feel this way again.  
  
Meanwhile Naya was building a sort of alter off the ground to lay Doug's lifeless body on to keep it out of range of any animals that might stray near. Skeeter helped her, but wasn't too happy about being so close to the body of his now dead best friend.  
  
The reality of this didn't upset him as much as it did Judy simply because he was used to things like this ever since he first met Naya. He also had confidence in her that she'd help right this wrong of Roger's. Skeeter piled sticks in a circle in the middle of the clearing and called to Naya asking her approval on the site.  
  
She smiled weakly at him and tickled him under his chin with the tuft of her tail. "You're probably the only one here with a brain," she said gently. "You don't whine and you certainly aren't a pain in the ass."  
  
He smirked and dropped to the ground to make the circle of sticks more neat and contained. "Well, Roger is a difficult one and Judy is just strange. Still, they're good people, you just haven't known them long enough."  
  
Naya snorted. "I definitely don't want to get to know Judy any more then I do now."  
  
"Why's that? What did she do to upset you so much?"  
  
Naya glared at him as thoughts from a few months ago flooded back into her memories. "Don't ask," she responded pointedly. "Just please don't ask."  
  
Shaking her head to rid the thoughts, Naya stood and looked around. She couldn't see Roger or Judy anywhere so she tipped her head back and scented the air. They weren't too far, but something was definitely wrong. She smelled the salt from tears and for a brief moment it made her smile because she knew it was Judy that was crying, but yet it was stronger then the scent one person could give out.  
  
Roger...Roger had to be crying too, but how odd. That boy didn't care about anything enough to actually cry let alone in front of anyone. In a few quick bounds Naya was in the area where Roger was comforting Judy.  
  
For a moment she felt jealousy sear through her, but seeing him holding Judy close and speaking tenderly to her to soothe her sorrows, Naya actually saw the one side of Roger she never thought she'd see. He seemed human for once.  
  
She sighed and turned to leave them their privacy. Seeing them crying in each other's arms was almost enough for her to feel guilty for what she did to Doug, but it wasn't that strong. The little twerp had a lot of nerve writing about her and fantasizing about her. For crying out loud! she thought and felt her anger return.  
  
Doug had his crush on Patty, so he had no business thinking things about Naya like that so it served him right that she tore his arm off and since he was such a wuss he died too.  
  
Naya giggled to herself feeling appeased, but it quickly stopped when she saw Skeeter standing over Doug. "Stop it!" she shouted making the blue skinned boy jump. "Just stop it! You guys are all trying to make me feel guilty or something you know that?"  
  
Skeeter looked at her and wiped a tear from his face, "N-no, he's just my best pal. How would you like it if someone were able to kill your imp, Panic? I don't think you'd take it all that well, would you?"  
  
Naya's shoulders slumped. He had to mention Panic. It was true, she wouldn't be exactly jumping for joy if he were to die, but at the same time the person that killed him would be dead himself. Still, she saw his point. "Fine, fine, I get it, just don't rub it in ok? I'm going to do my best to fix this mess up so just don't annoy me about it."  
  
Naya then wrapped her tail around Doug's body and hoisted him up on top of the alter then covered him up with a long animal skin that resembled a blanket. "There, I'll just sleep on the ground tonight. I don't want anything landing on him and making him stink more then he will."  
  
Skeeter frowned at her crudeness, but still he said to her, "If you like, you can share my blanket with me tonight. I don't mind."  
  
A smile crept across her lips and she nodded thankfully at him. She was forgiven by him from what she could tell and that meant a lot and though there was hate at this moment, she hoped that one day Judy might be able to forgive her as well.  
  
Later that night when they all settled down for sleep, Naya warned them all about keeping near to the fire and not to go wandering off alone and if they needed to leave the area they had to wake her so she could accompany them just in case something were to happen.  
  
Judy wasn't too keen on having the tailed girl following her around like some two legged purple dog, but she didn't have a choice so she reluctantly agreed.  
  
Right before they turned in, Naya especially warned Roger that if he were to pull any pranks that night he was going to be truly sorry and tossed out to be at the mercy of any centaurs out there.  
  
Remembering his last encounter with a centaur, Roger shuddered and promised he'd be on his best behaviour. Taking one last look around, Naya made sure nothing was lurking near by. Satisfied it was all clear, she settled her head down against Skeeter's chest and fell asleep.  
  
Some time later she was awoke by a strange sound, sort of like either a soft moaning or whimpering. Naya furrowed her brow and pricked up her ears trying to figure out what it was.  
  
The sound reached her again and this time it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her eyes snapped open. The noise was a moan indeed, one similar of passion. She growled deep in her throat and clenched her fists. That boy's gonna be castrated and his girlfriend's going to be slit from navel to neck, she thought and quickly sat up. How could Roger do that here let alone in her presence and in this sort of situation? Horny little jerk!  
  
Naya was on her feet in an instant, sword in hand. In one leap she was where Judy and Roger had made their beds, but to her surprise, Judy was alone and sleeping soundly. Strange, where was Roger? Naya scented the air and panic swept through her as she found what was going on. "Judy, Judy wake up!" she hissed, kicking the actress wanna-be in the back end trying to get her up.  
  
"What's going on? What do you think you are doing? How dare you!" she responded to the rude awakening.  
  
"Just shut up and get that sword I gave you. Skeeter, get up, now!" Naya cried and tapped him in the head with the tip of her tail. "We have a problem big time, so stay here and make sure no one takes Doug."  
  
Skeeter rubbed his eyes and was about to ask Naya what was going on, but she was gone as was Judy. Judy was almost going to protest as well, but she soon found herself standing with Naya, sword in hand. She blinked and looked around. "What's going on?"  
  
"Shhh!" Naya looked around and then spotted what she was looking for up in a tree. A large black Harpie was sitting on a branch and in one of her taloned feet was Roger. He was moaning all right, but not in the passion Naya originally thought, but in pure and mortified fear.  
  
She sensed his terror and it made her all the more angry. "Hey, birdbrain, let the kid go. He's not your type!" she called up to the half bird, half woman creature.  
  
The harpy looked down at her, red eyes blazing. "Begone foolish one for I need a human virgin to satisfy my hunger. Do you know how hard it is to find one as worthy to fulfill my needs?"  
  
Naya smirked and rolled her eyes. "Smell him again you moron. He's anything BUT a virgin!"  
  
Judy's head turned quickly around and she stared at Naya wondering how she would know that, but Naya played it cool and just stared back, a knowing smirk on her lips. Judy began to blush and she turned her attentions on the bird overhead and hoped that it would let Roger go.  
  
Hearing Naya's words, the harpy sniffed Roger with her beak-like nose then grimaced. "You're right! This fool is NOT what I first believed him to be. However, I can still be appeased with a lovely young woman such as you or your friend."  
  
Naya quickly wrapped her tail around Judy's ankle and warned her to be ready. "If there's any sword fights in your plays you better use those skills now because we're going to need it," Naya whispered to Judy who numbly nodded.  
  
In a flurry of feathers, the harpy dove down from her perch and flew towards the two girls, Roger still clutched in one clawed foot, her other extended to snatch someone new. Naya braced herself and when the bird made her first pass, Naya swung up with her sword and by the painful screech that came after she knew that it was a hit.  
  
Judy ducked and wanted to run for cover, but Naya yanked her back. "Stay put!" she growled. "Harpies go for things that are moving, you'll be a perfect target."  
  
Judy nodded then surprised Naya when she swung her own sword up and nailed the harpy in the leg holding Roger who fell to the ground and lay still.  
  
"Alright!" Naya cried. "Now we got her!" The purple girl released Judy's leg and in a huge leap she landed on the bird's back and drove her sword into it. The harpy screamed loudly and flew crazily around before death finally took it and they both crashed to the ground. Naya laughed and jumped around swinging her sword. "Take that you dumbass! Attack my friends when I'm around and this is what you get! Anyone else wanna try and see if they can handle it?"  
  
At first it would have seemed if she has gone truly mad calling out to nothingness, but there was a sound of branches breaking and wings fluttering in quick retreat.  
  
Judy dropped her sword to her side in alarm and gaped at the sky that seemed almost full of the huge birds. "Th-there were more of those things?"  
  
Naya shrugged and walked over to Roger who was still lying on the ground. "Yeah, there's always more then one and they come in single waves, but sometimes when one goes down as fast as this one did, they lose their fight and just leave." Roger moaned softly bringing Naya and Judy's attention to him. "Wh-what happened?" he questioned while slowly sitting up rubbing his head.  
  
Naya gritted her teeth and yanked him roughly up by his shirt. "What in Zeus' name were you doing? I TOLD you not to wander away from the camp! If it wasn't for your stupid hormones kicking in a while back you would have been birdfood by now!"  
  
Roger grunted and pulled away from her, stumbling backwards then brushing himself cooly off. "I don't know what you're talking about," he replied simply.  
  
Naya glared at him. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. Harpies like to prey on things that run from them or males that are alone because there's a good chance they're virgins. You on the other hand were lucky that you aren't one." She then shot a look at Judy then back to Roger who was stunned to say the least, but still just as cocky as always.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, girly. I didn't do anything but have to go uhhhh you know and there isn't exactly a little boys room out here is there?"  
  
"UGH!" Judy smacked herself on the forehead and now it was her turn to scream at Roger. "You uneducated hedgepig! Don't you remember what Naya said earlier about us waking her up if we needed to leave the grounds?"  
  
"I couldn't exactly have her follow me to do that!" he protested. "She might have tried something!"  
  
Judy shoved his shoulder hard and poked her finger against the tip of his pointed nose. "Listen, Roger, stop thinking that you're god's gift to women. I seriously would doubt she'd be turned on by you going to the bathroom!"  
  
Roger blushed, his pride hurt, and he stomped off back to camp severely embarrassed. Naya couldn't help but snicker at what Judy said. Maybe this actress wanna-be wasn't so bad after all. She shook her head and laughed softly to herself. No, Judy just had a rare bit of personality, that's all it was.  
  
Back at the camp, Roger was already sitting by his makeshift bed, his knees drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them. Judy went to his side and sat next to him not speaking a word. He knew she was upset with him, but he also knew she'd get over it and things would go back to normal between them.  
  
Skeeter was still standing his post at the alter of Doug, his eyes wide seeing Naya return spattered with blood. "Hey man, *honk* what happened?"  
  
"Had to stop Roger from being some turkey's dinner, that's all," she replied with a smirk and held her hand out to him so she could lead him from the alter and get him back to bed.  
  
He took her hand and followed her back to the blanket and the two of them settled back to hopefully sleep. Skeeter hoped Naya would have at least cleaned the blood from her clothes, but instead she took off her top and tossed it to the side stating that she'd worry about it in the morning.  
  
Skeeter blushed severely at this making Naya laugh. She further embarrassed him by wrapping her arms tightly around him and shoving his head against her bosom calling him her little blue boy amongst other things.  
  
Roger overheard and rolled his eyes in disgust. "Joeycookamonga, gimme a break before I puke!"  
  
Naya just giggled and stuck out her tongue as she pulled the blanket over herself and Skeeter so they could settle down for the night. Roger snorted and gave Judy a glance, but she was already dozing peacefully on her side. He sighed softly and lay near to her, his eyes burning from the disrupted sleep and his head slightly pounding from all of the days events.  
  
He just hoped that when morning comes they will continue their journey to the Underworld to meet this Hades character so they could get dopey Doug living again. Roger actually had faith in Naya to come through on all of this, but deep down he was just starting to worry if they were even going to make it to Hades alive.:: 


End file.
